You're The Top!
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
To let 'em rest... unexpressed,
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you
How great you are.
You're the top!
You're the Colosseum.
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare's sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.
You're the Nile,
You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top!
Thus starts one of Cole Porter's best-known and most-beloved songs: 'You're the Top.' Till this day, some gay men think that this song is just about comparisons between over and under achievers, and are genuinely surprised when I tell them to pause and think for just 10 seconds about the BLATANTLY obvious reference to sexual positions :-)
I guess this is a case of hiding something in plain sight: Porter's Mephistophelean talents at crafting double entendres enabled him to tell it EXACTLY like it is, but because the lyrics have nothing to do with sex, it went right over the heads of censorship, as well as of most people - including gay men. Only the most astute and quick witted of us got the joke, even decades later when the terms top and bottom are fairly common knowledge in the straight world. I bet he's still laughing long and hard at how he bamboozled almost everyone, from his grave ;-) lol
Like I said in the post before this, Porter actually had a long tradition in going around censorship, writing songs with HIGHLY charged sexual themes, but choosing his words ever so carefully that no one was able to pin anything on him. Some examples:
Anything Goes: who says that hetro sex is the only permissible form? Or that only two people can be involved?
Let's Do It: the verses end on 'let's fall in love,' but the gist of the song is let's fuck like jackrabbits ;-D lmfao
Love For Sale: about my noble (side) profession, Escorting :-)
Experiment: again urging people to experiment outside the prevalent 'norm' of hetro sex.
Live and Let Live: don't judge (my fucking around with the boys), and I won't judge you. 'Your business is your business, and my business is mine.' That's how he ends two of the 4 verses, as well as the whole song.
Don't Fence Me In: ... if what I really want to do is play with the boys.
My Heart Belongs to Daddy: need I say more? :-)
Here is one of the best versions of 'You're the Top,' sung by Barbara Streisand in the delightful, delicious, de-lovely 1972 screwball comedy 'What's Up, Doc.' Stick with it to the end, where you'll be rewarded with Babs duetting with Ryan O'Neal - who has a surprisingly good singing voice, and he pokes fun at her nose. As you might expect, I own the movie - on Bluray no less, for all the extras. My older audience already know it as a gay classic, and will probably be able to immediately throw at me some of its most famous lines. My younger audience should watch it. Other than it being hilarious, you're treated to hunky Ryan O'Neal when he was in, ahem, top shape, wearing nothing but white boxers. Woof! Who wouldn't want HIS slippers parked under their bed? :-)
Other than that, if you want to talk musicals, Porter, or need the links to the definitive versions of any of the above songs, give me a holler. If I get as much good feedback to this Blog post as the last (musical one), I might stick with Porter a little more before I shift gears from naughty to nice and head to The North Pole. Of course, all you might really want to do is have me sing to you while we're both nude, or you to sing 'My Heart Belongs to Daddy' once I'm DEEP inside you - and you'd be surprised how many naughty musical requests I get ;-D lol